When the relationship can still be saved

Usually only one partner sees no chance for the relationship, while the other wants to hold on to it.
Image: Ilkay Karakurt

Would I be happier with someone else? Anyone who asks this question in a partnership quickly thinks of separation. But is that the right way – or am I too demanding? The Couples Column “Love Better”.

“I don’t want to go on like this anymore!” If this thought pops up in everyday life, it is usually quickly repressed. But in special moments, this defense mechanism often no longer works. The turn of the year is such a moment, but also a serious illness that has been overcome or a milestone birthday. As with Greta. Shortly after her 50th birthday, she confronted her husband Lennard with this sentence at breakfast. Which he doesn’t understand at first. “What don’t you want to continue with?” – “With both of us, our marriage,” explains Greta.

During the preparations for her birthday party, she realized that she didn’t feel like celebrating. It wasn’t the number 50 that weighed on her. It was a feeling of being stuck. In this marriage. And she lists all the things that bother her. his silence. The missing similarities. Hardly any tenderness. His disinterest in her life. The aggressive mood between them. Her conclusion shocked Lennard: “We no longer fit together.” Separation? Lennard had never had that thought. He doesn’t want to give up the relationship – despite some doubts that creep up on him from time to time.

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